The Fire and The Edge

Alright it's the middle of the day and I have slept very little so I'm cranky as hell. So prepare for rage!
Hope I can get it out of the system and make the rest of the day better.

First off I'm gonna talk shit about people, real people, people I know, even my relatives. I don't know if any of those who I'm gonna mention even reads this blog but I don't give a shit. If you do then all the better!

As you all should already know I have several illnesses which prevents me from working, so I have a lot of free time. However a lot of that said free time I spend trying to endure the pain I have and a lot of that time I spend trying to find ways to get rid of any pain I can. Guess what, I would gladly work fucking 12 hours per day 7 days per week instead of having this pain and fucked up head. And yes I have thought of committing suicide and I still think the idea is not that bad. Those of you who fucking can't understand it can go fuck off and drown in a fucking lake! Anyone, and I mean ANYONE, who get's the idea of throwing any pity my way I recommend that you bury that thought somewhere where I can't see/hear/feel/sense them or I will punch you in the throat.

Now my illnesses are pretty hard to understand and I get that many people can't get their head around it, I really really understand that. If you have the need to understand then asking me about it makes a lot of sense and I usually try to explain my situation. As I said it is hard to understand so I'm fully aware of that you probably need a couple of questions to get a grasp of it.
If you still don't understand or if you don't agree with something I do or something like that then you are allowed to ask or say so and we can discuss it further in a civilized matter.
If you STILL don't understand after X amount of time discussing then I think we have a stalemate. Going any further is pretty pointless. Now I feel you should just accept the fact that you don't understand the situation and we can move on to other things. If you do understand but disagree with anything then I feel we should agree to disagree and move on to other things.
Pretty good idea yeah? I think it's an awesome deal and I think most of you agree. THEN WHERE THE FUCK DO PEOPLE GET THE FUCKING IDEA OF DOING THE FUCKING OPPOSITE?!?!

Just to show you an example I was gonna link a facebook status I put up where one of my aunts wrote several things that was pretty upsetting. Funny thing is my friends found it more upsetting than I did. However either I just can't find it or I deleted it. Shame really. I'm gonna give you a quick summary of what it was all about. It was like 10ish in the evening and I put up a status saying "I'm bored anyone doing anything fun?". Now I was thinking of just chatting with someone who did something fun, if someone asked me to join them in whatever they did I would probably decline as it was pretty late in the evening. Then my aunt wrote something like "You should get a job cause you seem healthy enough bla bla bla" So I started explaining why that is impossible. Oh btw I have explained my situation a couple of times before this event. She continued with the negative comments, ignoring my attempts to reason with her. After a couple of tries and her continued beating I said that I will remove her from facebook so I don't have to see her useless comments. And so I did.
Now who died and gave her the fucking rights to beat down on me? I'm so fucking tired of hearing my relatives say things that they think is right but in reality I CANNOT FUCKING DO IT BECAUSE I AM FUCKING ILL! Hey wanna know what I think is the right thing for you to do? SHUT THE FUCK UP! Useless piece of trash.
Again you are allowed to think what you want but slap yourself in the face and realize that you don't create reality. Keep your shit to yourself. This applies to all of you.

... okay on to some other shit. I really dislike the things that happens around me at the time. I know I know most of them isn't about me and I don't think you guys mean for anything to be directed towards me. Know this... I do not want anything to do with this shit. Solve it on your own. But I'm 100% certain that I somehow for god knows what reason will get caught in the crossfire. Feels like I'm gonna lose a friend because of this and I don't really appreciate that. I don't take anyone's side as long as you don't hurt each other in any other way that isn't necessary.
Prediction: One of you will feel really bad when you read this but you probably shouldn't and one of you will not feel bad when you read this but you probably should.
Hate this childish shit....


I had hoped that this entry would make me feel better, you know get things off my chest. Can't say I feel any better, could have made everything worse.
Note to self: Next time blow something up instead... or stab someone in the eye.

   This is Captain Currently-Not-So-Awesome - signing out

The Tech and The PeeFlirt

Hello again my fellow douchebags!

Now I sincerely apologize for the lack of entries lately but my computer has had a... it kinda... Hell I'm gonna say it outright, it fucked me in the ass with Bluescreen of Death!! No computer for a month.. I think how death feels like now...
After many attempts to fix it I finally said fuck it and bought new parts! To actually disassemble the very thing that makes you angry is so satisfying I kid you not! Wish you could do that with humans.... hmm.... New York Times: "Captain Awesome killed his friend and chopped him up to tiny pieces! In his defence he said that he was gonna do some upgrades and put him together again"  ..... okay maybe not...
Say hi to my new rig! Asus Sabretooth P67 motherboard! YUM! 3,30GHz i5 processor (can be overclocked)! DOUBLE YUM! 8gb ram! well... not that good I guess. This goes well together with my earlier purchased Geforce 580 graphic card! All put together this rig is so amazing it almo- AAHHHH! ... Came in my pants.. give me 2 minutes...

Okay there we go, sorry about that...

So what have I been up to? Well I've been with Celina a lot. Been hanging out with Mini-Awesome and Miss-Awesomeness a lot too which makes me happy! They are so cute together that it almost makes me wanna throw up ;D
A special night worth mentioning is when Celina, Snail and I went over to Mr Alice's house! They got drunk and I got... funny... from my meds. Late at night we decided to play some 1v1v1 on Modern Warfare 2 with Amon Amarth in the background. Truly amazing! After Amon Amarth we played some Children of Bodom which led us to Backstreet Boys! ... Shut up I know what you're thinking... No questions allowed! -.-

Last saturday Celina, Mini and Awesomeness were at Medusa and had a nice time. Something weird happened though... I went to the bathroom. Took my place at the urinal and started emptying my beautiful hose. While standing there, this is all true by the way it's too stupid to make up, 2 girls came out of the toilet which you can actually close and lock... I was a bit surprised but meh fuck it. One girl passed me but the second one halted and said "Looking good there, you single?". I was like WTF is this really happening?! ... and of course I had nothing good to say so I just said "No sorry I'm not" which to she replied "Oh that's a shame.." then she smiled and walked out. Now I don't know about you but it's the first time someone has flirted with me in a club while I was peeing. I take it as a compliment but I already know my gear is awesome! Although a thank you is in order for the chick, I'm actually quite flattered. Hope you find someone who is nearly as awesome as me when he's peeing!

Oh right almost forgot Midsummer! "Celebrated" it with good friends at the house of the woman who created Mini. Later we went to Medusa (where else?) I'm not gonna say much more but instead I'm giving you a videolink! Enjoy!

Before I stop writing I just want to say fuck you to some people who deserves, hopefully you know who you are. Also I want to give another thank you to the friends who keeps me from total breakdown, I really REALLY hope you know who you are!

   This is Captain Awesome - Signing out

The Sleepiness and The Chicken

Morning to you all!

As I said in the last entry my body has been totally wacked this last week. I haven't done much at all.. and definitely nothing fun/stupid. Been sleeping a lot, which I hate, and I've started playing Final Fantasy X again which is pretty awesome!
A few more things happened but I won't talk about it here, not now at least.
Anyways yesterday I went to Medusa with Celina, Lvlina, Mini-Awesome, Lvlina's brother Johan and his girlfriend Emily (spelling?) It was awesome. Just chilling and joking around. Exactly what I needed, enough action to ease my restlessness but not so much that my health suffered. Thanks guys

Feels like my mind has wandered all over the universe lately. Which is a bad thing. As Eminem said in one of his songs "I don't know why the world keeps turning round and round but I wish it would stop so I could get off right now".
Guess when my health is a bit better my thoughts will settle a bit, at least enough to enable me to start sorting things out. Hard to do anything when there is a lack of focus.
One thing I've been feeling lately is that my patience and kindness has taken a beating... Hope it's just temporary...

Moving swiftly along I'm gonna show you something that disturbs me a great deal! ...goddammit I get frustrated just thinking about it... Anyways one day I was chatting with Celina on the Facebook chat thingy and she showed me a picture (no not like that you perverts!)

Here it is....
She said that it reminds her of me...
When I asked why she said "It fits you, especially with the little spot on the neck". Naturally I asked "Why the spot?" and she answered "Because you're not like everyone else, you are special. And it has the right look too! I'm watching your every move so watch out!"

So in her eyes I'm basically cute and cuddly... Special though but still... Damn her for destroying my image! Ah well I stopped getting surprised over her actions at this point haha


I'm getting very sleepy now (again...) but I want to finish with a thanks. Mini and Celina, yesterday when we ate at that place and just talked... it was truly awesome. Just talking about random shit without a care about stepping on each others toes or anything like that. Moments like that are rare, at least for me. Thanks guys!

   This is Captain Awesome - signing out

The Limit and The Recap

Hey there my sea turtles!

The last couple of weeks have been so insane to the point that it should be illegal.
Right now my body is failing. I'm completely out of energy and my body is aching all over. Most of you know that my health is a bit special. I have been pushing myself way beyond my limit and now I'm paying for my mistake.
My mind is kinda crapped out right now too. There has been way too much drama and shit like that lately... I have so much to think and worry about it's almost makes me wanna cry
My friends, I'm sorry but I won't hit the town or do anything special this week... I simply cannot ignore the pain at this point. I hope I can get out this weekend but until then you have to survive without your Captain Awesome.

I have so much to write it's not even funny. Think I'll divide it up between several entries... Yeah that sounds good.
Well as most of you know I now have scars in my face for a reason I don't really wanna talk about. At this point it seems that some of them will be permanent but time will tell.
 I also accidentally broke the ceiling lamp... Of course the shit was made was made of thick heavy glass and of course I had to stand right under the damn thing when the glass shattered... Luckily I dodged most of it but my arm got sliced pretty good so here I sit with three stitches in my arm. I was laughing all the way through it actually. Am I strange for smiling when I get cut up so bad? Some of my friends think I'm toying with my life way too much and need to slow down but to you I say: NO PAIN NO GAIN!

I also pierced my lip! The general opinion is that I look awesome in it! .... Like there were any doubts haha. I thought it would hurt quite a bit but I was so damn wrong.. It was the good kind of pain and YES I know you think I'm crazy for enjoying pain but fuck you alright!? ;D

The bitch-slap war with Mr Alice is currently 9-9 which suggests that we are equally good at face-slaps but I will get that son of a bitch!

In the next entry I will post all the random funny shit that has occurred lately but I would like to finish this entry with a thank you to all of those who cared when I collapsed last friday. Special thanks to Micke/Mr God, Ayla and Klara who stayed at the hospital even when I said that they didn't have to.

Many special thanks to all the true friends I have out there! I never say it but I hope you know I appreciate you all!

   This is Captain Awesome - signing out

The Disease and The Changes

Guten tag my puppets!

So it has been some time since my last entry, I apologize. Please forgive me!... nah it's my choice so shut up! ;D
Lately the world has been turned upside down I feel... Can't really put my finger on it but my world is a bit twisted at the moment... well... more twisted than usual I guess. Been sick off and on for days now which irritates me a great deal. BUT I managed to get out friday night and it was awesome, as always!
Mini-Awesome got kicked out for being too drunk, I kissed Micke to mess with Celina I think... Not sure actually =S.. and also I think Mr Alice and I have started a bitch-slap war. Currently 2-1 in my favor, I believe some rules needs to be set for this game or it may quickly get out of control!
All in all, awesome night!

Decided to terminate the term the Awesome Five and introduce the Crew of Awesome instead. The crew consists of all my closest and dearest friends, the Five included. There are some differences in how I feel about all of them but all in all they are the ones that really matter to me. You are awesome guys!
I will soon put up a page where you can see them! Also I will add and change some other pages so we are in for some good fun! This will hopefully be done this week but I miss some pictures so until I get them it can't be done.

Oh some old comments btw, Celina thinks there should be a soda with Captain Awesome flavor... not sure how to interpret that.. but sounds awesome!
Nicolas thinks I will die from tipping a candy machine over myself trying to get the last Twix in there OR that USA will get so jealous of my awesomeness that they send an A-10 Thunderbolt to kill me... time will tell I guess XD

Before I sign out today I wanna show you something Helena sent to me today. You remember the Peanut-Picture I told you about in an earlier entry? Well Helena saw this and thought about me... have no idea why

   This is Captain Awesome - signing out

The Turning Point and The Sexy Floor

Hey all you critters and beasts!


Yesterday...was...AWESOME! While the morning and afternoon were a little slow and I had to clean, do the dishes and boring stuff like that. It was still the best day this week, happy Captain! But screw the whole day and let's skip to the evening/night shall we? Yeah damn right we are!

Alriiiiiiiiight! While we had a plan to round up the crew and head out early there were some annoying circumstances that put a bunny in our plan's wheel. One or two peeps short we took off towards the lovely rock/metal bar Medusa!
There we met up with some more lovely peeps and the night commenced......... Dun dun dunnnnn
You know how an evening out works right? We sat at a table, drinking, catching up recent events, I showed them the Peanut-Picture from my earlier entry (very appreciated I might say!)... you know getting the gang going with some awesomeness. THEN we went downstairs where the real shit is! Some mighty music blasting, we are singing along of course and were having a reeeeaaaally awesome time! Then as the awesome-level was rising we decided to hit the dance floor (same music... just more room to dance ;D) and the night went from awesome to super-awesome!
And when Micke and I have a super-awesome time... we go into awesome-deluxe mode. So very convenient that on that dance floor they also have a stripping-pole... So Micke showed off his moves which are pretty awesome. I had to go for some spins and in the end we even got the others to try it out once or twice! Micke's lovely girlfriend Celina then showed off some of her moves on the pole which made the rest of us look like fools! Can't do anything but applaud.
We kinda lost control at some point as we were basically doing lapdances on each other (and yes... mostly me and Micke.. on each other.. So damn right but still so damn straight)
All in all it was just insane! Insanely awesome!
And that ladies and gentlemen is how Captain Awesome and his crew of awesome parties!

I give my thanks to everyone who helped me to have the most awesome time! I really needed it... No words can describe so I just go nerd and do this \m/ ^_^ \m/


Want in on the fun? Well stop being such a wuss and give me a hoot!
Here's the place we were at http://www.medusabar.com/ and we will be coming back there again and again!

   This is Captain Awesome - signing out

The Crushing Blows and The Peanut-Picture

Guten Abend meine lieblings brötchen!

Remember the last entry where I said some crap is going on? Well guess what.. MORE crap got pooped over me.. damn world.. so not awesome. BUT! Captain Awesome will find a way and rise again!

One of the Awesomes... Miss C.. has gone away for a while.. this is really sad for me and I wish the situation were different. I miss you already

Anyhoo I bet you guys wanna know if I've done anything awesome lately? Good news! I totally did something really awesome yesterday! Sensitive readers be warned! Muahahhahaha

Let me set the scene for you... It's in the middle of the night, mom is at her boyfriends house, my siblings are asleep. Awesome music streams through the speakers and the room is dark, the only light is coming from the computer-screens. 

Suddenly I feel hungry, so I made some sandwiches and took them into my room. The usual sandwiches with peanut-butter will make any night awesome right? Yes it will BUT for some sick goddamn idiot reason there weren't any peanut-butter on the shit.. it was just... butter! What went through my mind when I did that? Did I fall into some dimension where it is a good idea to use butter over peanut-butter!? Don't think so! Damn.. still pissed over it. Anyway.. I complained on Facebook and a friend (a girl, relevance obvious later) commented that the world is upside down and stuff like that.. I said that my peanut-butter must be so upset, like if I was married to the peanut-butter and got raped by a butter box and actually enjoyed it! She however believed that if I gave some extra love to the peanut-butter it would forgive me. Oh I will I said... then she said something that she perhaps shouldn't have "Pics or it didn't happen".... Well if she wants to see my dinkadink in a jar of peanut-butter who am I to say no?

Said and done I grabbed a jar of peanut-butter, unzipped, took a picture and sent it to her. BOOM!

Got the picture left as proof, It's a pretty harmless picture and I would gladly put it up here but my senses tells me that is not a good idea...

Guess you have to beg me to send it or something ;P

Anyway, admit that this was insanely awesome! or perhaps awesomely insane! Choice of freedom

oh BTW.. she said she liked it

   This is Captain Awesome - signing out